Can’t write, can’t figure out what direction to go in or what the right thing to feel might be. I prefer happy. I watch the video of my son’s wedding over and over because his wedding was the happiest occasion in more than a decade for me. We were a family again.
The second husband I now know I can’t live with is lost, I feel guilty, I feel like I’ve abandoned him, but I know I’d die and lose my family if it had continued.
It hurts. It has to. And when I let it and get through it, that’s when I’ll be able to move on.