Overwhelmed…

Can’t write, can’t figure out what direction to go in or what the right thing to feel might be. I prefer happy. I watch the video of my son’s wedding over and over because his wedding was the happiest occasion in more than a decade for me. We were a family again.

The second husband I now know I can’t live with is lost, I feel guilty, I feel like I’ve abandoned him, but I know I’d die and lose my family if it had continued.

It hurts. It has to. And when I let it and get through it, that’s when I’ll be able to move on.

3 thoughts on “Overwhelmed…

  1. I KNOW HOW YOU MUST FEEL, VALERIE. HAVING YOUR FAMILY BACK WITH YOU (OR YOU WITH THEM) IS NATURAL AND IDEAL. BUT, YOU AND I KNOW HOW UNLIKELY IT IS. CHILDREN GROW UP AND GO AWAY TO DO THEIR OWN THING. YOU ARE VERY LUCKY TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN CLOSE BY. ENJOY THEM. TRY NOT TO DWELL ON WHAT IS, BUT WHAT WILL BE FOR YOUR NEW LIFE. ALL WILL BE OK, BELIEVE ME.

    • I think you misunderstood. I wasn’t lamenting about the kids and I not being together, I was celebrating the fact that we all had that time together as a family. It was wonderful. No matter where my kids are in the world, I’ll always be close. I enjoy every moment I have with them, together or individually, on line or on the phone or in person. They are the loves of my life!

      My lament was regarding the difficulty I have at times remembering why Don is homeless and miserable. I feel responsible until I remind myself of the choices he made to get himself there. Nonetheless, until more time goes by it’s something I’ll have to go through.

      Maybe that makes more sense, and you can understand where I was coming from.

      Thanks for responding! 🙂

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