From one moment to the next my heart goes from lonely and sad to satisfied and relieved to worried and guilty to hopeful and content. All between the hours of 5:00 p.m. and 11:p.m.
I used to love roller coasters when I was kid. They were exhilarating, exciting, and made me feel like I could do anything if I could just hang on long enough. It occurred to me between mood-swings how accurate the metaphor of a roller coaster in an unhealthy relationship had become. Those ups, downs and jostling curves that I used to seek out, now just make me sick to my stomach and I can’t wait to get off.
It’s only been a little more than three weeks, and I’ve lived through enough heartbreak to know this ride will end, and sooner than the last.
The difference this time? I’ll step out, straighten my hair and my clothes, and move on to something a little less “thrilling” instead of getting back in line for another ride.